Apartmentland
Russ Somers
Your life is like an apartment
Everybody’s gonna get a bigger one
Everybody’s gonna put down some money
But ain’t nobody moving on too soon
Cuz as far as I see
We’re all staying here
Having illegal barbeques and
We’re all living
In ApartmentLand
I got a ceiling, you got a floor
I got a window, you got a door
It’s got a peekhole so you can see
If the pizza guy is who he oughtta be
He lives three doors down
Saving his tips
Buying all his clothes second-hand
But he can’t get out
Of ApartmentLand
One day soon we’re gonna get out
Gonna bring somebody else’s property values down
Try to keep up with inflation
Turning us into apartment nation
It’s a Steinbeck novel of the semi-dispossessed
The grapes of discomfort and settling for less
Tom Joad don’t belong here
He’s just passing through
He don’t like the neighbors and he don’t like you
And you don’t like him
But with the walls paper-thin
You just gotta do what you can
Gettin’ by
In ApartmentLand
Sheetrock separates us
The homeowners hate us
You just gotta do what you can
Gettin’ by
In ApartmentLand
© 2022 Russ Somers
Nothing's Gonna Be Alright
Russ Somers
The man from the Internet
Cut off my connection
Cut off my connection to the outside world
Now the signal’s interrupted
Bills keep a-comin’
I stack ‘em in the corner and act unconcerned
It didn’t used to bother me
Didn’t use to matter
No news is good news as I used to say
Now the sky’s turning colors
Streets are full of people
Is this Armageddon or Inauguration Day
It don’t get better in the morning
It don’t get better overnight
It don’t get better anytime soon
And nothing’s gonna be alright
With your second-gunman theories of personal relationships
We watch the films and try to understand
Here comes the motorcade, there goes an era
Do ya see a smoking gun in Jackie’s hand
And two young lovers are walking in the moonligh
He whispers those sweet nothings in her ear
Lemme tell you something, if you wanna say a nothing
Here’s the kind of nothing your baby needs to hear
It don’t get better in the morning
It don’t get better overnight
It don’t get better anytime soon
And nothing’s gonna be alright
We used to have the decency to hide our secret wars
Now I’m feeling so nostalgic for 1984
It was always comforting to know that he was there
Now the video’s gone to static
Big Brother just don’t care
It don’t get better in the morning
It don’t get better overnight
It don’t get better anytime soon
And nothing’s gonna be alright
Nothing’s gonna be alright
Nothing’s gonna be alright
Nothing’s gonna be alright
© 2022 Russ Somers
I Wish You Were a Movie
Russ Somers
12/11/2021
I wish you were a movie so I could rewind you
So much you’ll forget, but I can’t remind you
Anytime you’re lost you know I could go find you yeah
If you were a book on a library shelf
I’d read you again although you wouldn’t yourself
You’d rather read a book about somebody else, oh yeah
But it’s
Almost over now, yeah you’re
Almost grown
When the credits roll there ain’t no way to postpone
If I could give you a world it wouldn’t be this one
I’d fill it with people who cared and would listen
And none of the bad ones would warrant admission, yeah
But that’s not the world that you’re gonna inherit
It won’t be your own, so you’ll have to share it
With people who might try to crush your spirit, yeah
But it’s
Almost over now, yeah you’re
Almost grown
I wish I could start again as the credits roll
If you were a movie I’d want to rescreen it
I wish I’d paid more attention the first time I seen it, but
I’m only human, and you know how that feels, yeah
But there’s no going back and there’s no doing over
This song is as close as we’ll get to closure
So step into the light and say thanks for the show, oh yeah
But it’s
Almost over now, yeah I’m
Almost gone
I wish I could start again as the credits roll
© 2022 Russ Somers
Drinkin' On the Job
Russ Somers
There’s an engineer who’s working on an Amtrak line
His life is just as tough as yours and it’s harder than mine
Sometimes when the pressure gets a bit too much
There’s just one thing that he can do and still pee in a cup
Everybody’s tired, everybody’s spent
Trying to figure out where their money went
Everybody’s tired, going half insane
They’re just trying to kill the pain
They’re drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
It’s whatever it takes to get you by
Some get drink and some get high
Some do twelve steps and crave caffeine
While they’re skimming off the till down at the Dairy Queen
Everybody’s tired, everybody’s spent
Trying to figure out where their money went
Everybody’s tired, going half insane
They’re just trying to kill the pain
They’re drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Everybody’s tired, everybody’s spent
Trying to figure out what their mama meant
Everybody’s tired, going half insane
They’re just trying to kill the pain
They’re drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
I got a written reprimand in my employee file
See, I was busted at the dumpster with a beer and a smile
Send me down to see the big boss in the corridors of power
But he was already gone to happy hour
Everybody’s tired, going half insane
They’re just trying to kill the pain
They’re drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
Drinking on the job, na na na na na
© 2022 Russ Somers
99 Monkeys
Russ Somers
99 monkeys on a government project
Typing away on IBM Selectrics
They take a stab at Shakespeare and almost get a sonnet
But they mess up the pentameter
And leave out all the commas
They’ve been here
99 years
Chained to their keyboards day and night
Don’t it hurt
To almost get it right
99 monkeys if they had enough time
Would randomly reproduce Elizabethan rhyme
99 monkeys if left to themselves
Eventually would crank out haiku and doggerel
But they’ve been here
99 years
Chained to their keyboards day and night
Don’t it hurt to almost get it right
Get it right
Get it right
Get it right, right, right, right
The 99th monkey hits a carriage return
He’s ninety-eight percent of the way through Ode To a Grecian Urn
Beauty is truth and truth, beauty
A wop bop a loo bop, a lop a tutti frutti
They’ve been here
99 years
Chained to their keyboards day and night
Don’t it hurt to almost
They’ve been here
99 years
Chained to their keyboards day and night
Don’t it hurt to almost get it right, right
© 2022 Russ Somers
Forgive the Devil
Russ Somers
1/15/2022
Let’s forgive the Father, let’s forgive the Son
Let’s forgive the Devil for the things he’s done
Forgive the big and forgive the small
Let’s forgive each other, maybe most of all
Here in Glass House Village everybody’s throwing stones
But if you wanna move ahead, there ain’t no way to do it on your own
So let’s forgive the people who are out of luck
I forgive the guy who wrecked my pickup truck
Let’s forgive the people ‘cross the deep blue sea
Let’s forgive each other, talkin’ you and me
I know it ain’t that easy, I know that everybody’s tried
But anger is a hot coal and all it does is burn you up inside
Forgive them even when they don’t deserve
Forgive me even when they twist your words
Forgive them even when you can’t forget
Please forgive me even if you can’t quite yet
(Solo)
Let’s forgive the Father, let’s forgive the Son
Let’s forgive the Devil for the things he’s done
Forgive the big things and forgive the small
Let’s forgive ourselves, maybe most of all
© 2022 Russ Somers
Wild World
Music and lyrics by Cat Stevens / Yusuf Islam
When They Make a Movie of My Life
Russ Somers
Cinema multiplex
A box of raisinets
Curtains part to say no cell phones please
You’ll take a single seat
In aisle forty-three
Lights go down, and people start to dream
Yeah, the lights go down it’s time to start the dream
When they make a movie of my life
I know I’ll live forever in your eyes
And right now you can’t bear to see
But when they put me on the screen
What you see will look like you and me
I’m gonna be ten feet tall
First run in all the malls
The Fine Arts and the Biograph
Sit back, be entertained
Projections feel no pain
You’ll know just when to cry or laugh
Yeah I think you’ll know when you’re supposed to laugh
When they make a movie of my life
I know I’ll live forever in your eyes
And right now you can’t bear to see
But when they put me on the screen
What you see will look like you and me
And by the final reel
You’ll know just how I feel
Back in the forty-second row
I only wish you the best
But stand in line with all the rest
Get your tickets for the picture show
Yeah it’s just another stupid picture show
(Sorry, Eric)
When they make a movie of my life
I know I’ll live forever in your eyes
And right now you can’t bear to see
What looks like mediocrity
But you’ll say
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey
© 2022 Russ Somers